


Love, Selfish Love

by Justwaitforit



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Hiatus (Fall Out Boy), Pre-Hiatus (Fall Out Boy)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 01:31:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justwaitforit/pseuds/Justwaitforit
Summary: Patrick's in love with Pete.  Unbelievably beautiful and irreversibly troubled Pete.





	Love, Selfish Love

It’s just past 2:30 a.m. in a St. Louis hotel and Patrick can’t help but think that things are going well.

Really well.

Patrick hadn’t originally thought much of Fall Out Boy. Not that the guys weren’t great, but it certainly wasn’t Patrick’s most ambitious project.

But it was going great. Patrick had been around the local band scene for awhile, but he’d never played outside of Illinois.

And yet here he is, entering his cheap hotel room post-show, almost like a real rock star.

Upon arrival to the room, Patrick immediately hit the shower before switching to a pair of plaid pajama pants and his old Bowie shirt. Brushing his teeth, he peeks out of the bathroom door to see Pete, star-fished on top of the comforter of his bed, fully clothed, and very asleep. Patrick would smile if he didn’t have a mouth full of toothbrush.

Pete’s a good guy. And something about the two of them words. Patrick can never really explain it, but the two of them just click somehow. On the surface, you’d never pair the two together. Patrick spit in the sink before looking at himself in the mirror. Looking back at him is the reflection of a man (boy?), freshly eighteen and barely out of high school. He’s got a thin layer of baby fat on his cheeks and a sweaty polo shirt and jeans slumped on the floor. He steps out of the bathroom and looks at Pete, 23-years old and looking like he’s ready to flip off the world with his dark eyeliner and straight-iron hair.

And it works. They fit in each other’s lives. Pete’s feelings are hard and complicated, and Patrick wants to listen to them all. Patrick loves listening to Pete talk, trying to see the world from his perspective. He finds him fascinating and also incredibly charming. Even with his rough exterior, he never fails to find a way to make Patrick laugh. During the show, Pete would flash a goofy smile at Patrick between sets and Patrick couldn’t help but giggle into the microphone. His toothy grin had shone on stage and Patrick could feel his heart to melt.

Okay, maybe Patrick was a little in love him.

He smiles at Pete one last time before crawling into his own bed. He tries to let the happy thoughts shroud him. He thinks of the rush he felt when the stage lights coated the band and him. He thinks of the audience clapping along. He thinks of the smell of sweat and alcohol of young partiers filling the venue. He thinks of the smell of Pete as he pressed his head into the crook of Patrick’s neck while they performed.

But it’s no use. The bad thoughts start to consume him. He thinks of the tempo tear in the middle of their third song and the sounds of Andy trying to recover for Patrick’s mistake. He thinks of the girl in the back of the venue, chatting loudly about how she couldn’t wait for them to finish so the next band could play. He thinks about when he told his mom he was leaving school to go play music and how disappointed she’d been. Maybe she was right. Maybe this was all a mistake and he was just embarrassing himself, his family, his friends.

He takes a few breaths in the nose, out the mouth, in an attempt to relax, but mostly he just stares up at the popcorn ceiling as the night grows darker and darker. He’s trying to count sheep in between self-defeating thoughts when he hears a quick gasp come from the other side of the room.

Patrick immediately turns to his side, back facing Pete, and closes his eyes, hoping to give off the impression that he had been asleep this whole time. Pete’s torso shoots up and Patrick can tell he is wide awake now.

Patrick tries to ignore the little sounds Pete is making to give him some privacy. He suspects Pete will go back to sleep any second, but Patrick can still hear Pete’s hitched breath and it tears at his heart.

He can’t help it when he turns around again and calls, “Pete? What is it?”

Pete startles when he hears his name. He’s sitting up with his legs pressed to his body and his chin resting on his knees. He angles his face towards Patrick. “Trick,” he replies absently. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay.” Patrick conveniently leaves out the fact that he has yet to actually fall asleep.

His eyes move to the bedside clock. 1:24.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Patrick asks.

Pete turns his head away from Patrick and holds his legs tighter to him.

“Uh, yeah, I-” Pete’s voice cracks ever so slightly and Patrick feels his organs twist into knots.

Pete looks so small and scared, so different from his usual demeanor. Patrick starts to feel irrationally angry, wanting to confront whatever forces are planting demons into Pete’s head. He looks at Pete and remembers being in similar situations as a young kid. He remembers waking up from nightmares about first days of school or about scary movies his big brother let him watch. He remembers crawling into his parents’ bed and being held until the thoughts in his head faded to light hearted dreams.

“Do you want to sleep in my bed?” Patrick asks, absentmindedly. If he wasn’t several hours deep into insomnia, he would never be so blunt. He still would have thought it though.

Patrick sees Pete tense slightly, as if he thinks Patrick might be making fun of him.

“You don’t have to,” Patrick assures him, “but I wouldn’t mind.”

Pete stays still and tense. Patrick suddenly feels embarrassed for even offering. He probably made Pete feel even more uncomfortable.

“Uh…” Patrick continues. “Or not. I’m sorry. I just thought -”

“Yeah,” Pete interrupts. “I’d like that.”

Patrick closes his mouth and nods. He offers Pete a shy smile before scooching over to one side of the bed.

Pete hesitates and Patrick wonders if he’s actually going to join him. Pete sighs, and then crawls out of his bed and into Patrick’s, still fully clothed.

Patrick sheepishly watches as Pete, still clearly shaken, lies down, facing away from Patrick. Pete’s body is on the very edge of the bed, leaving as much room as physically possible between the boys.

Patrick lets himself glaze at the back of Pete’s head. Even in the dark, the product in Pete’s hair glows ever so slightly as the small light from the window reflects off of his short locks. The tiny tint of light radiating off of him resembles a halo and Patrick can’t help but wonder if an angel just crawled into his bed. Patrick starts to get lost in the shape of the blanket as it drips over Pete’s toned silhouette. The silhouette expands as Pete inhales deeply. His exhale is shaky and nervous.

Patrick reaches out a hand and presses his palm gently to Pete’s back, rubbing up and down his shoulder blades. He feels Pete start to gradually relax with each small touch. “It’s okay,” Patrick coos. “I’m here.”

Pete turns to face Patrick and Patrick is instantly overwhelmed. Pete’s puppy dog eyes and big and full of sorrow. His bottom lip trembles so slightly and he looks so desperate for some kind of assurance that it’ll all be over soon.

Patrick reaches out to him and pulls Pete into his arms. Pete collapses into Patrick’s warmth and his whole body starts to melt. Patrick holds him close, careful to rid any remaining space between their torsos. Pete shoves his face into the crook of Patrick’s neck and Patrick can feel Pete’s silent tears on his skin. Patrick runs his calloused fingers through Pete’s thick hair, petting him until Patrick feels Pete’s breath grow slower.

Patrick presses his cheek to the top of Pete’s head and lets himself drown in sleep, into the night, into Pete.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. This will have one more chapter. I just have to finish writing it. You know how it is.


End file.
